memory

About a month after we moved, Chase asked to look at some pictures of our old house.  "I can't remember what it looked like," he said.  "Are you serious??  We just moved!" was my shocked reply.

I think about this often, this crazy phenomenon of kids' memory.  There are a crazy amount of things that Chase remembers that astonishes me.  But there is so much they can't remember.  And really, what was your first memories?  I feel like I have fuzzy memories of first grade, and much before that I have no recollection.  I have never studied the subject, but I imagine it has something to do with the brain not being fully developed.

However, sometimes I like to think it is so that we as parents can mess up plenty in the beginning and then get lots of do overs. 

Take Monday for example.  I felt like the kids were under control - baby napping, kids doing some art - when I decided to make some phone calls.  And by the way, we get terrible TERRIBLE cell service in our neighborhood.  (and are in the process of actually getting a home line...)  So I am huddled in a corner of the house upstairs where I am getting 2 bars, trying to order something important, and of course the baby wakes up, and then Chase runs upstairs to show me his art, whilst dripping paint on the carpet (and I am sure it is all over the downstairs), and I ask the lady to hold while I yell at him to get that downstairs NOW and wash the paint off your hands...and feet, and then my call drops.  I call back. I get put on hold. The call drops. I call again.  All lines are busy.  I call Matt to complain about why hasn't he ordered our home phone yet!!!  I call again.  I get through to the right person finally.  I continue my order  The kids are fighting.  screaming.  I ask the lady to hold while I yell stop fighting right this second!!   The call drops.  I call back, all lines are busy.  I call back, get through, finish my order.  Get transferred to schedule delivery.  I find out I just ordered the wrong size piece (with all the screaming and fighting and call dropping).  Try to get it sorted out.  Kids are fighting and screaming.  Ask lady to hold while I yell please stop fighting and be quiet for two minutes!!  Try to turn on TV show for them.  More fighting and screaming about what to watch.  The call drops.  I then unleashed a fury of screaming that I am not proud of.  Both are now huddled in a ball of tears.

I throw all the kids in the car, drive down the hill and finally finish my order.  I take a deep breath.  I apologize to the kids for yelling and taking ALL my frustration out on them. I then ask, who wants ice cream?

After ice cream, they want to ride bikes and scooters.  Hey, we have those in the car.  Let's head to the park right up the street. 

It turned into a lovely afternoon.  While I am not proud of the yelling, I am proud of taking back control of that day and turning it into something great.  Like I always remind myself, don't let a bad moment ruin your day.  And I am grateful for those little developing brains that only remembered the ice cream and scooter riding while telling Dad about their day, and didn't seem to remember Mom screaming so loud it made them cry.