bittersweet

Last week I walked from room to room of the house that had been my home for the past nearly five years, checking every last nook and cranny to insure nothing was left behind.  And although the place was nearly empty, memories still hung thick in every room, in every corner.  And while we had been planning this move for a while now, and with much excitement, my heart felt heavy leaving behind the first real home my family had. 

We practically started our family here, with Chase just a four month old babe at the time.  We became a family here.  Both of my baby girls were brought home from the hospital to this house.  My first two children took their first steps in this house.   Chase learned to ride a tricycle and a bike without training wheels out in the front driveway.  Santa Clause and the Easter bunny made their debut appearances here.  Traditions were started.  Birthdays were celebrated.   Within these walls have been so much joy, so much laughter, and many tears.  It will be missed.  To leave it was harder than I had imagined.

And moving further from family and so many wonderful friends sometimes seems hard to bear.  And although it is really only 20 minutes away, I know it won't quite be the same.  And it feels like a different world.  Which is good in many ways, but I feel like a stranger in unfamiliar territory.  And like I don't quite belong yet.

And, yes, this will all come with time.  And so far, it seems to be everything we were looking for.  But of course, the grass does always look greener.

I was so worried with how the kids were going to take the move.  Anticipating the worst.  Maybe some nights of tears, wanting to go back to their home.  I wasn't prepared for them to be completely unfazed.  Or really, just excited.  Funny how these little people adapt so quickly.  It's us older people who have a harder time with change.

And so while I am getting settled into a new house that doesn't quite feel like home yet, I will give myself the advice I gave Chase a few weeks ago as I was preparing him for the move.  Moving is a part of life.  And this move surely will not be our last.  But the most important thing is where ever you move to, you will still be with your family.  And that is what matters most.