So when I had Chase I was so excited! I was going to be included! My social calendar was going to be so full. But then I realized...I still was out of the club. Because I only had a baby and not big kids. Being a mom of one baby can be lonely. (note to self and readers....invite the moms with only one baby, sometimes it's just about including the mom and doesn't matter that the baby is not old enough to play)
So Chase got bigger. But guess what, still not really in the club. Because I only had ONE kid and he was not in school. Not a REAL mom yet.
But now, NOW, people, I have ARRIVED! I have THREE kids! And TWO in school! (one is preschool, but school nonetheless). I do the multiple drop offs, the pick ups, the sports on the weekends. I have schedules and actual things of importance to put on my calendar. I even CARPOOL for heaven's sake. I am a legit, all grown up, FOR REAL Mom.
(OK, please let some of the sarcasm come through on this. We are all legit moms, just at different stages. And guess what, we are all busy. Just different kinds of busy. But....I still feel legit and all grown up)
While I am loving a schedule....and some quiet mornings to myself with Lyla napping, I don't think I anticipated all the feelings of sadness of life just passing me by.
And I definitely did not anticipate having a hard time letting go of my little kindergartener. Like, I may have had me a good little cry in the car after back to school night. Who cries after back to school night? I am not loving this loss of control and letting go. This whole life that Chase now has away from me where I really haven't a clue what he is doing half the day. And it didn't help that I overheard the teacher talking to another parent about their kid having a language problem (remember, Chase thinks stupid is the worst word out there), or that Chase sat at school all day sick with a fever last week and didn't realize he could just tell his teacher he wanted to go home, or that he told me he got pushed down on the playground, or that he cryed last week that he wanted to go back to preschool (mostly because he misses the sandbox). It's all just pulling on my heart strings in a way that was unforeseen a few months ago.
5 comments:
Oh, you're totally in the club. That picture of Chase it so cute. And it's ok to still feel sad. Just remember, you won't always be sad. Well I guess I'm sad. Sad that Drew's not in school full day because he's driving me crazy by being so mean to Kate all the time. Now I'm just counting down until my depression comes when Kate's in school full day.
Haha. When I got married I thought we would instantly be included but turns out there are the married with children. I call the people in my ward without kids "single" and those with kids "married". We are always looking for single friends ;)
yes, mixed feelings always, time is going fast but lately i've been glad!
funny about being legit. i feel the same, only NOW am i a real mom. but its funny cause really when you have one or two babies is best time to make friends and stuff, i don't know why? learning together maybe?
All these definitions are funny - I feel like I've been kicked out of the club a little because all of my kids are in school all day! You've definitely got one crazy schedule going on with 2 different schools, dance, soccer, plus normal life!
this made me feel better that its normal to cry at different stages of life. cause we all know i cry all the time over my life. i think you are definitely a legit mom.
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